so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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