Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
