If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
