I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
