You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
