Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
