ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Barsexuality is the new black.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
