We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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