you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
