well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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