No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
