I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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