He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
