I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
