the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
