bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
