does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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