Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
