i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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