Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
this boner is exhausting
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
