neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
