Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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