I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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