i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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