I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
