Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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