so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
