I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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