is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
