just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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