So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize