Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
