this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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