Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
