if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize