after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
