you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
