I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize