i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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