i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
