My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize