You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
