fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
