I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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