The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
