Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
