party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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