Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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