we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
