Me. At least after what I've been through.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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