I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
