my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
