i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
