walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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