you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
