I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize