I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
time to smoke my breakfast
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
