Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
