Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
