u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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