I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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