Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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