Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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