OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we're making bets on your personal life
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
