: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
